Ever had someone you have no romantic interest in continuously bug you with asinine messages on Facebook/gChat/AIM/whatever? You must read this brilliant post on The Hairpin.

A snippet:

(Yesterday) D: My messages are meant to be harmless but I don’t know if you remember trying to make out with me when you knew I had a girlfriend makes you calling my messages ‘inappropriate’ is well hypocritical. I personally think not answering people’s messages is flat out rude and incosiderate a sign of possible snobbery. Your not someone I care to know anymore. Goodbye.

(Today) K: Dear D, Your suggestion that my failure to answer your Facebook messages might be a sign of possible snobbery truly upset me. I realize now that my self-regard has spiraled out of control. I would like to make an effort at atonement by answering just a few of the messages you’ve sent me over the years, messages that I selfishly allowed to go unanswered.

D: Yo kid how ya been?

K: I’ve been better. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, as you probably know from reading my relationship status, which I changed back to “single” a mere 27 minutes ago.

D: How goes it?

K: If by ‘it,’ you mean my general health, my relationship with my family, or my yoga practice, ‘it’ is going fine. If by ‘it’, you mean my dissertation or my financial outlook, I have to admit that ‘it’ has seen better days.

D: Lol should I just not bother IMing you as I never get a response?

K: Lol, probably.