Is there anyone alive who doesn’t love Emma Stone? She’s cute, funny, redheaded, and not afraid of being part of the joke. She’s also dating the majorly adorable Andrew Garfield. Yesterday, Emma went on Ellen to promote Spider-Man, the movie where she and Andrew met. Ellen asked who was a better kisser: Andrew, or Emma’s former costar and sexiest-man-alive-in-exile Ryan Gosling? Emma’s diplomatic response? “Apples and oranges. Ya know, um… I love all fruit.” As they say on Family Feud, good answer!

In the event that someone asks you how your boyfriend’s kissing technique is, you can always just say “no comment.” But should the situation arise, here’s how to handle it:

The asker: Your best friend
The answer: Every single TMI detail, obviously

The asker: An acquaintance
The answer: Tell her it’s great and leave it at that

The asker: A frenemy
The answer: “Better than whoever you’re kissing, if there is anyone.”

The asker: Your mom
The answer: “Ew, why do you even want to know about this?”

The asker: Ellen DeGeneres
The answer: “Will you autograph this napkin? I’m sorry, did you say something? Here’s a pen.”